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Integrity is a skill
As with all skills, they're developed and learned
over time. For example, few people have an inherent skill
in math and most people must learn the rules and exceptions
associated with math to finally get a grasp on the concept.
As a result, math is learned after repeating special techniques
over and over, including doing some memorization. This is
also true with Integrity.
Training
A qualified carpenter must endure years of training,
practice and exposure to building materials and different
construction situations that call for his talent. Integrity
must also endure years of practice and exposure, for integrity
is NOT necessarily inherent within a person's temperament
and personality. Instead, integrity is a trait that is taught
and learned over an individual's lifetime.
Who, what , where, when, why & how?
Each of us, individually, have to learn what integrity is,
how is works, who can have it, when to use it, where it applies
and why it's so important in your personal definition of success.
ONLY you can apply integrity into your life. You can't force
it on someone else and no one can force it on you and expect
it to stick. The people who can have it are those who want
it and see it's value. No one else.
Point of reference
Integrity is a guideline, a benchmark, a point
of reference or a goal that is used to make decisions that
rely on truth and honesty. All things are related to this
point of reference and judged accordingly. To maintain integrity,
you must remember to refer to truth and honesty in ALL
decisions, thoughts, actions and reactions. That's not an
option if you're to have and maintain integrity in your life.
A great tower
Integrity is something that a person builds and
maintains during a lifetime. You can consider integrity as
a building within a person's heart that starts when the person
is young. This "building" begins with the first hole that
is dug. Once the hole is dug, the foundation is laid--usually
by parents and other leaders (church and school instructors).
The walls follow with windows and doors added along the way.
The windows would allow for transparency and serve as a type
of checks-and-balances. The doors would allow for simple modification
of a person's definition of integrity to enter into the training;
trusting it's for the better. The roof is added later and
serves to protect what has already been established from negative
outside forces.
Re-building
Just as you can re-build a house when it falls
down, so too can you re-establish integrity if you fall away
from it's blessings. Note that in reality if a house must
be rebuilt, it does not happen in a matter of hours or days.
Tomorrow is a new day
Leaving the past where it is, picking up the pieces
and moving on is critical if you choose to "turn over a new
leaf." Keys that lead to success in this endeavor include
1) attitude, 2) understanding, 3) grasping the reigns of life
firmly and 4) implementing a new and improved plan to work
with which allows tomorrow to be a clean slate for
you. Let the past go and concentrate on the present and the
future.
Looking back is
important for learning from our mistakes--but leave it at
that--"looking back." Don't bring the past into the present
or the future for any other reason, especially if the past
is tainted in any way. Make new memories; Memories that are
ethical and moral--blameless memories that shout and echo
integrity.
"Act
as if"
Think about the future in the present tense. That is to say,
live life as though what you're striving for has already happened
and you're already benefiting from it's blessing. If you keep
thinking of what you desire, integrity, as something you'll
experience in the future, it will remain there...in the future.
Bring it into "today." Live that life now.
A plant
Integrity can also be considered as a plant. It
is planted as a seed in youth by loved ones, watered in childhood
by the individual and eventually blossoms in adulthood producing
fruit. The more you water it throughout life, the more it
grows and blooms. Just as it is with plants, if neglected
at any point, it WILL wither and die. If your plant has died,
simply plant a new seed. Water it daily and make sure it gets
plenty of sun! Note that a plant does not blossom immediately
but must go through a life cycle first. So, getting familiar
with integrity will take a while.
Maintenance
Integrity must be maintained. A janitor cleans
rooms for a living and you must be like a janitor to maintain
true integrity. If you avoid the dust that settles and don't
remove the trash that accumulates, your (definition of) integrity
begins to diminish and decreases in value. A strict maintenance
schedule must be kept or the integrity that has taken a lifetime
to build will come crumbling down in a matter of minutes.
Delusions
are simple
Have no illusions; integrity is not especially easy. Just
as you can find and implement integrity into your own life,
so too can integrity be lost. Some of the most destructive
things and behavior in life are easy and simple to accomplish.
One thing you can
almost always count on in life; if it's worth anything of
real value, it will probably not be easy.
Loss of integrity
It's critical to note that integrity can be lost
or compromised beyond recognition in a person's life. I've
been there and am in the process of re-establishing integrity
in my own life...and I'm finding it's not easy the second
time around. Recognizing that integrity has been compromised
or is totally lost from your life is the first step of many
to come. The second step is to do something about it--and
that is to make the decision to plant a new seed and water
it daily...even minute-to-minute.
Holding up to the test
Consider the cup that cannot hold water. A person
that lives their life without integrity is like a cup that
cannot hold water. The crack may be invisible to the eye,
but if it doesn't hold up to the test, that cup is virtually
worthless. Many people walk around with a small crack that
is easily hidden, but time reveals the flaw to everyone.
Honesty
...is a separate issue that definitely applies
to personal integrity. To be honest is to apply integrity
to a situation, circumstance or instance. Honesty and integrity
go hand-in-hand without exception or separation. There are
few things that complicate an issue or hurt more than dishonesty.
At least honesty leaves a person with some sense of closure
and dignity--despite the fact that honesty may sometimes hurt
because you'll know the truth.
The role of integrity
in "love"
Integrity helps to define love although many things
collectively define love, Integrity is a little different
in that it plays a unique role in love. Integrity acts as
a binder of the many things that help to describe the meaning
of love. Integrity helps to keep together all the things that
make up love so that love is constant and pure. For example,
without a binder such as water, bread would be nothing more
than baked powder with seasoning. Paper would be a collection
of loose fibers.
Integrity can help
to define you by acting as a binder that keeps your words,
your thoughts and your actions honest, worthy and admirable
to those around you.
Integrity will:
-
begin
and continue as a personal ON-GOING decision to stand firm
on principals that are inherently good
-
most
likely take the long, straight and narrow road and does
not cave into lying, cheating or stealing
-
tell
the truth over a lie despite the consequences
-
suffer the consequences instead of compromising itself
-
help
to steer a person clear of those that easily bow to a corrupt
nature
-
be apt
to lend a helping hand simply as a by-product of this special
lifestyle decision
-
diminish
and eventually disappear if you choose to ignore and abandon
it's blessing
-
set
you apart from a great number of people who have chosen
to follow the lead of the current drummer
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sometimes
separate you from the "in crowd," but that's not always
the case
-
on some
occasions, make other people feel uncomfortable around you
because of their own insecurities, problems and guilt
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impress
others only because of your decision to adhere to such a
(sometimes) difficult lifestyle
-
sometimes
put you into tight situations that APPEAR to be needlessly
difficult
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allow
for rebuilding. It will come back and continue to blossom
if you choose and allow it to grow within.
Integrity will NOT:
-
allow
for decisions that may compromise personal belief and faith
-
always
APPEAR to help a situation
-
be an
easy decision for all situations
-
be Disneyland
and roses all the time
-
give
in to peer pressure simply because "everyone's doing it"
-
give
up on you--you can always re-establish integrity by making
a conscious effort to re-build what past mistakes have broken
down
-
in an
obvious way come to the rescue of a person
Benefits
Integrity always, without exception benefits a
person, but the benefit is NOT always immediately recognizable.
In fact, some times the benefits of Integrity are not obvious
for many years down the road. It's possible for a person to
live most of their lives and not see the benefits of integrity
until late in life. It's different for everyone and doesn't
mean it's better or worse for you. It just means it's different
for you, that's all.
Notice
As a side note, please know that in many cases,
"things are not as they appear."
Experiences
Integrity is NOT a one time experience or situation.
Instead, Integrity is an on-going experience of a collection
of situations where sound decisions are made based on good
judgment, discernment, wisdom and knowledge.
By-Products
Integrity has its by-products. As you become more
familiar with a lifestyle that allows for integrity to bloom
wild and free, life is usually filled with more and more peace--a
by-product. After a while of on-going decisions guided by
integrity, people begin to take notice. Employers begin to
place more trust in you and your abilities. Friends rely more
and more on your apparent wisdom. Better decisions lead to
a better life.
Misdirected hate
As a direct result of your decision to establish
integrity within yourself, you'll gain favor with many people.
Unfortunately some will hate you for it--which is another
by-product. People hate other people for the strangest reasons.
Someone dedicated to truth and honesty is a typical target
for those who pursue chaos and the misfortune of hate. There
are many reasons for this misdirected hate, but the most common
reason is their own insecurity (referring to the person who
hates). People WILL be threatened by you because of your decision
to maintain integrity.
Other definitions
People can tweak or modify their definition of
integrity to suit their current needs, desires and ambitions.
For that reason, it's possible to have a large number of definitions
of the word or state of affairs in a person's life--but that
doesn't necessarily mean they're all sound definitions.
Personal definition
This personal definition of integrity is an attempt
to offer an unbiased presentation of what integrity can and
cannot mean. That is to say this definition of integrity:
-
is in
no way the one-and-only true definition
-
may
actually serve to corrupt someone's definition of integrity--BUT
this definition has a sincere intention to help explain
the many sides of integrity's purity and benefits so that
the reader can decide for themselves
-
should
help to answer some of the many questions people may have
about integrity and the possible role it may play in a person's
life, decision making, thoughts, actions and destiny
-
should
broaden one's insight about how much of a role integrity
plays in their daily life, even minute-to-minute
The great cathedral
Remember, you can live life the way you want, for
good or for evil. But I'd like to suggest the following
story for your consideration:
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Back in the
middle ages (400-1400
A.D.) a great cathedral was under construction and employed
many skilled laborers. One day a strange man came
to town and asked several of the men what they were
doing.
One man answered,
"I have to lay this brick to feed my nagging wife and
my many ungrateful children."
Another answered
by saying, "I'm just trying to pass the time until I
die and at the same time keep myself afloat."
Another man
said, "I'm following my father's footsteps and doing
what I'm told."
An old man
answered, "I am a mason, this is what I do."
Yet another
man was heard saying, "I do this because I have many
debts to pay."
Then the
stranger saw a young man laying brick who was working
feverishly unlike the other workers. Intrigued,
the stranger questioned this young man next.
After hearing
the question, the young brick layer stopped, starred
at the yet unfinished building and answered by
saying, "I'm taking part in the greatest building project
in history. A cathedral unlike any other in the
world. One of surpassing beauty and size.
This cathedral will be the greatest the world has ever
seen. I'm only laying the block, but my efforts will
help this great cathedral to stand the test of time
so future generations can marvel at and appreciate it's
awesome beauty."
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It's how
you do it...
Needless to say, the previous story about the building of
the cathedral reveals that it's not what you have to
do, it's not what you want to do or what you think
you should do, but it's about how you do all things in
life.
How you do what
you have to do; how you do what you want to
do and how you do what you think you should do, will
determine your success. You'll "have to do things,"
you'll "want to do things," and you'll "think you should do
things" your whole life, but it's the quality of how you do
them that really matters.
Integrity plays
a critical part in quality decisions, thoughts and actions.
It'll be obvious in how you act and react to expected and
unexpected circumstances.
The "Gifted" Musician
Everybody enjoys one or several types of music,
regardless of their sex, culture, age or beliefs. Music is
truly one of the few universal avenues to express yourself
to where others will consider your art despite who you might
be in their eyes.
Most people only
enjoy listening to music, but few enjoy listening and creating
music. Some musicians are good, some are better and then there
are those who are exceptionally good--considered to have the
"gift" of music. But even they have to practice.
I attended a concert
recently where a fan of the featured musician anxiously walked
up to his favorite performer and said;
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"you're
an outstanding musician!"
The artist
replied by saying;
"thank
you, I appreciate you saying so. I practice every day."
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Just as the great
musician must practice everyday to maintain his high level
of artistic talent, so too must we practice implementing integrity
into our every-day lives.
Remembering
Allowing integrity to seep out only every now-and-then is
not acceptable if we are to benefit fully from the blessing
that integrity has to offer over a lifetime.
Integrity should
be allowed to flow freely in the mainstream of our thoughts
and actions. That, realistically, does not happen over night.
It's a decision we must make every morning after we wake up.
It's a decision we need to "remember"
to make every morning after we wake up.
Studies show that
if you do something twenty-one times in a row (but not like
a robot in immediate succession), that "function" should be
ingrained enough to where it becomes second nature after a
while.
A simple note on
the bathroom mirror, or one just above the door knob of your
bedroom or some other place where you're sure to see it every
morning--for 21 days or more--should do the trick. Give it
a shot.
A wonderful life
Choosing a wonderful life over (just) life can
make the difference between success and failure, peace and
chaos, love and hate, and integrity plays a key role in those
decisions.
Choose to be like
the young man laying the brick to build what he believes to
be the greatest cathedral in the whole world.
Choose to plant
a seed that will become the immovable oak.
Choose to be like
the janitor that maintains a clean household.
Choose to be a
cup that can hold water and is half full instead of half empty.
You can do it.
It's as simple as a decision--one of many that will be based
on wisdom, good judgment, discernment and knowledge.
Choose to incorporate
integrity in your life today.
That,
my friend, is integrity.
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Defining Integrity In
A Nutshell
...or
in this case, in a fortune cookie.
The other day I
was having lunch with two friends at a Chinese restaurant
in Flagstaff, Arizona when I received an interesting "fortune"
from the traditional after-dinner fortune cookie (that I usually
smash on the table, work through the pieces for the "fortune,"
then consider the alleged "fortune" and toss what's left--I
don't like the cookie, just the fortune):
On this particular
day the unusually unique "fortune" read:
"Integrity is
doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching."
After I stopped
coughing and finally got some air as a result of the shock
of reading something so prevalent in my constant search to
define words that I want to apply to my life, I realized that
this "fortune" was by far the most profound, applicable and
true "fortune" cookie I had ever received.
Such a simple yet
concise definition of the word integrity from a fortune cookie?
I could hardly believe it!
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My personal
story
I began
to focus on integrity (or the lack of integrity in my life)
back in college (1999) and didn't know it.
One Saturday night
a friend and I went to a supermarket in Flagstaff, AZ to buy
a bottle of liquor--as many college students do. As we stood
in front of the liquor considering such an important purchase,
my "friend" shoved a bottle of 101 proof peppermint schnapps
in his pants, zipped up his coat and said "walk in front of
me." Then he pulled me in front of him and we headed for the
front door past the cashiers. Being the sheep that I was when
he was around, I did exactly as he said and we got out of
the store alive with a stolen bottle of liquor.
I don't remember
much of that night except for one thing; how terrible I felt
for participating in that simple act of theft. I'd stolen
things in the past here-and-there, but for some reason this
experience was different. A few days went by and I still couldn't
shake the feeling of shame that overwhelmed my thoughts.
Finally I decided
to make things right and met with the manager of the supermarket
where the crime took place. I expected the manager to call
the police and follow through with an arrest. Instead he said
the following which changed my life:
"It seems as
though there are few people left in this world, especially
college students, who allow integrity to rule their life."
Then he turned
to me and looked me right in the eyes and said,
"Son, without
sounding condescending and with all-due-respect, I'm proud
of you."
He took my money
for payment of the bottle we stole and opened the door for
me as I left. I understood everything he said except one thing.
I wasn't quite sure what integrity was. I had an idea, but
I wanted to know EXACTLY what integrity was because I could
tell he knew the value of integrity in life...and I wanted
that.
That was the beginning
of my research of the word integrity. Then during my research
I noticed there was little in print or on the Internet that
expanded on such a valuable word. As a journalism major, I
took it upon myself to offer what I learned in my research
to everyone else via the power of the Internet.
Having said that,
I hope integrity takes a hold of your life and doesn't let
go, just as a pit-bull locks its jaw and can't let go. Unshakable.
Unlimited. The giant oak whose roots go deep.
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